Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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