at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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