It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
