You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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