i barfeds in our rink
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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