So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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