Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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