Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
"it" just moved
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
