Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
