What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize