I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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