i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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