I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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