Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
