i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
