I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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