Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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