It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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