i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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