I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
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If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
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I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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