i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
