I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
