I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
