I'm drive I can fine osifer
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
