people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
