I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I looked at my own cervix.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
