problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
His nipple licking is glorious
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