i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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