Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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