You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
