Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I intend to get homeless drunk
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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