"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
