Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
