So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
