I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
