i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
