He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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