Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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