Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
