In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
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You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
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Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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