We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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