We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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