pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
