grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
