Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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