I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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