Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
