you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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