Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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