somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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