you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
zippers are such a cool invention
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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