It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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