Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
