she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
you made out with another girl for some wings
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
