I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
