Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
