What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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