whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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