it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
