You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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