Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i would one night stand the shit outta him
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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