I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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