Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
