You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
