Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
